Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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