thus making me awesome and them whores
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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