Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Randomize
