We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
