I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
And then he peed in my hair
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
