I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
