the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize