Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
