I am puke
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
