I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
