Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
