I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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