She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
