after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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