I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
