is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
