So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
