the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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