She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
