We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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