dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
