her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
