walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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