My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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