Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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