She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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