Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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