bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
