i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
