thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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