the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
