i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
