I skipped work to stalk him.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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