I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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