Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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