I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
