It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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