I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We talked him into tasing himself.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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