Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
