i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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