just tell him i said nine months
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
