so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
