I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
