i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
