I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
