need another drink. this is the easiest way
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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