I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
