my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
