She's JV to your varsity
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
