I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
