another moral hangover. fuck.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
