I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
