shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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