The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
