And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
