It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
