i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
