dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
