He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
