ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Shame is for Republicans.
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