walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
