I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
is it fun? or sober?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
